April 1, 2006

My husband's father abandoned his four children when they were very young. Thirty-two years later he made efforts to reenter his son's life, and for the past 14 years he has been a part of our family. As there is often conflict between grown children and their parents concerning choices such as raising children, money, and career, there is conflict in this relationship between father and son. My husband mostly puts on a good face when around his father, however inside he boils with anger and resentment. How can you tell me how to raise my children or what I am doing wrong! Would you be the wealthy arrogant man you are today if you had financially and emotionally supported your children! How can you now criticise what I have become when you were not there to help me make choices along the way!

So....I took it to the Internet. I Googled adult children with absent parents, and was disappointed by what I found. There are reports that children with absent parents are more likely to end up in jail, get divorced etc. Adult children of absent parents have only been looked at as a statistic. Would they be willing to speak about something that has made a major impact in the person they are today- not being accepted and cherished by their parent. How do adult children feel today about being abandoned by a parent as a child? Do they know deep in their heart that they feel or behave a certain way because of it? Have they reunited with the absent parent, and if so, what is their relationship today? Finding answers to such questions was the initial purpose of the Absentparents.com website.

I have since opened my eyes and realized that there are a huge number of children today that have been abandoned by one of their parents. From my Internet searches I realize that society does allow children to voice their objections and express their sadness. When I was in the 9th grade I had a friend whose parents were divorced. Her mom and the whole situation seemed pretty cool. Until I reached adulthood that friend was the only person I knew that did not see her father on a regular basis. My children's friends are not so lucky. I would like for them to use this site to share their stories and to speak with others like themselves.

And the absent parent...what is your story? Is there something that digs in your heart too? Do you need help going back? Were you rejected when you tried? Let us hear from you.